The Picket House

Where James and the Supertwins, Jamie and Lynda make their home.

James slowly put his infant son on to his crib. Asleep, little Jamie didn't stir. James sighed feeling a pang of jealousy as he watched the twins dream away. He didn't sleep anymore. Not since his dreams only consisted of her.

He turned the baby monitor on and left the nursery leaving the door slightly ajar.

There were usually two sets of dreams. They should really be called Nightmares. He dreamt about the night, the night that she had died. Playing over and over in his dreams.

The other dreams were just of her, alive and well, smiling at him, kissing him. It was like the nightmare had never happened. These were the worse of the two. For though in this dream his deepest wish was fulfilled when it awoke, he was reminded violently that it was just a dream and she was not there laying next to him. And she never would be. It was torture. Worse than reliving the worst moment of his life.

So yes, James Picket didn't sleep anymore.

He walked downstairs and collapsed on the chair. Paperwork of files and cases were spiraled all about.

Easier to be a work-a-holic if you didn't sleep.

Mari had talked it over with Blake. Both Seaton's were worried about their friend. She knocked softly, seeing as she held a sleeping Mal. "James," she called, just as softly. "I know you're in there! Open up, please?!"

James looked sharply in the direction of the front door. Mari. He frowned and didn't make a move to open the door and instead continued to work. It was perhaps a little childish sure, but he didn't really want to face anyone just yet, least of all Mari.

Mari frowned. "James Picket, if you don't open this door right now, I will not hesitate to kick it down. And if that has to happen, I will make sure I personally kick your ass from here to Timbuktu."

Mal opened her eyes at her mother's tone. It didn't sound happy. To the 16 month old, it sounded like when Mommy and Daddy were fighting...

James sighed. With the ruckus she was making she'd wait the neighbours as well as the twins. He reluctantly headed to the door. He didn't open it though.

"I thought I said I didn't want to see you for awhile." He didn't sound angry, didn't sound like anything really. He just sounded tired.

Mari growled. "I don't fucking care," she hissed covering Mal's ears. "How many of Blake's phone calls have you ignored? How many requests for works have you ignored from Mercedes?"

Mal let out a whimper. She recognized the other voice as her Uncle James. Why was he and Mommy fighting?

James could tell that she wasn't going to go anytime soon. He opened the door. "The department gave me a leave. Besides I'm working from home."

He folded his arms. "What are you doing here Mari?"

Mari glared, and said, "If you think you're the only one hurting, think again!" The last part was said with a sob.

Mal whimpered again. "Mama?" she whispered.

James stood aside and went into the living room to collapse on the couch. "Let's hear it then."

Mari swept in after him. "First off, you tell me why you're being such a bastard to every one who wants to help, or even fucking commiserate?!"

"Why shouldn't I be?" James said plainly. "Nothing matters anymore. No one matters."

Mari set Mal down on the couch beside her. "Don't move, sweetie," she said softly.

She stood up and whirled on James. "Tell me, how are Jamie and Lynda? When was the last time you held Lynda and looked into her face? Looked at Jamie's eyes? Do you know how hard it is for me to drive anywhere and not be reminded of my best friend?

"Did you even stop to think about how this affecting your friends and family?!" she screamed, as tears poured down her cheeks."

"I'm sorry Mari." James said softly. "I can't."

"That's not fucking enough!" Mari shouted as Mal began to cry. She picked up her daughter and began rocking her. "It's not enough James."

"What would you have be do Mari?" James asked. "Go out there and tell people that I'm fine? That I'm dealing with it?"

Mari stood up straighter. He was like Zombie. Not good memories associated with those...

"No. But you want to know what I can do?" she asked, voice as cold as ice.

She glared. "I didn't want to have to do this, but... I have the right to do this."

Marisol didn't wait for his response. "I have the right to bring you up in front of court and charge you with being an unfit guardian."

The whole house was deadly quiet. Even Mal stopped fussing.

James was stunned. The first words he could manage to pull together was, "You wouldn't..."

Mari gazed at him with level eyes. "Wouldn't I? If I believed that the twins were in danger of anything here, I have to report it as a doctor, not to mention a concerned citizen."

James closed his eyes, and stood up. When he opened them again, his eyes were blazing. "How dare you!" With every word, James' tone grew more and more dangerous, though his volume remained relatively low.

"You have no right, no right to do anything." James continued, raw anger was radiating out of him.

He wasn't thinking straight. He couldn't think straight. He hadn't been thinking straight since that night. That night...

Angry. He was angry. Oh god, he was so angry. So bloody angry.

"You most of all. How dare you threaten to take my children away when you already took her away from me!"

Mari flinched. She hadn't forgotten that. How dare he indicated that she didn't care?

"Good. You're angry," she whispered. "James, do you think I wanted to murder--because that's what it was, murder--my best friend?! And right now, you're all I have left of my best friend. You, Lynda, and Jamie. You're all we all have left. Sam hasn't stopped crying. Jon looks like he's about to fall over dead, he's been working so many hours, trying to figure out what happened with Lisa. I've been working my ass off to keep myself fucking sane, James Picket. How many sleepless nights? Let me count the ways. I remember the exact way she pleaded with us to take her life. Remember?! That haunted look in her eyes as we stood there in the ruins of the Watchtower. That's the place I first felt I belonged. When I met Lisa, she offered her friendship to me. I latched onto it. I was in a new place. I knew no one. I had just built a hospital. When she found out I was a hero, she offered me a place to live. Every single hero in Superville took that place to be home. Lisa made it that way. Remember her eyes? The way they burned into us, James? The way they begged for us to take her life so she wouldn't hurt other people? It hurt me as much as it hurt you. She was practically my sister, James!"

Her voice rose steadily higher and louder as she ranted. On her last work, her voice cracked, and she held Mal closer too her.

The baby in her arms sensed that her mother needed to hold her, so the little girl did nothing except gurgle into her mother's ear.

"Stop," James had whispered when Mari highlighted the details of that night. "Stop, stop, stop."

He remembered. He remembered it clearly. He saw it every time he closed his eyes. He made himself believe that she had come back to them even for a moment, she was back with them. But he knew, deep in his heart, he knew even as he held her that she was gone. She couldn't be with them anymore. And goddamn her eyes. Blue like the summer skies. They pleaded for him to pull the trigger. But he couldn't. He wasn't strong enough.

"I should have been the one." He choked out. "She asked me to do it."

His hands were shaking.

For as far back as he could remember, Lisa Prince was the only thing that mattered to him. He knew, even when he had been five that she was special. She was the only one for him. She was the light. She was vital to his very being. He would have done anything for her. He would have done everything. But in the end, he couldn't even do what she wanted him to do.

And he blacked out.

"Oh, James..." she whispered, tears pouring down her cheeks. "I'm sorry... I hate me too."

Mari sat down, Mal still in her arms, and rocked back and forth. "I hate me..." she muttered.

The baby in her arms didn't like that tone at all. Where was Daddy?!

"James?" Mrs. Prince entered the livingroom, "The door was open...?"

"Goodness gracious, James? Mari?" Mrs. Prince said. She ran over to the unconscious James on the floor. "Mari, what in the world happened to James?"

Mari sobbed, "It's my fault. I made him own up to the fact sh-she's gone. I killed her, Mrs. Prince! I murdered my best friend and n-now J-James has to live with it...!"